I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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