$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
