A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize