flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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