I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
