I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
