Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
