a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
