I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
