gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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