so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You are a booty call, not a friend.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
