Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize