it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
nutella sex= disaster
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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