wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
