so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
