I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
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