CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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