I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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