if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize