Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
