Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
