He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
