We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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