I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
