dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
