I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
