SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
