i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Randomize
