i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
