i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
home. puking in laundry basket.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
