Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
