I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
