Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
