Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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