i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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