My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
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