My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
