Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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