fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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