her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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