I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Randomize