May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Randomize
