Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
is wine microwaveable?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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