I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
