If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
