question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
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