The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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