Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
