I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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