Apparently you make a good broom.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
