I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
