He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
