Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
