So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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