sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
