before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
