weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
my liver is dry heaving
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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