I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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