This show inspires me to have sex in space
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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