i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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