idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
