I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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