Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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